Today we played lots and lots of peek-a-boo. We seem to do this any day that she’s a little out of sorts and needing extra blankie time. She woke up from her nap and grabbed her blankie when I reached to pick her up, so I knew she wasn’t feeling quite herself. She LOVES her blankie, which honestly…I totally love. I don’t know about you, but I had a security item and its a constant I reminder from my childhood and something I still smile at just the thought of. I was a blankie baby as well, my grandmother- Meme, made me a blanket when I was born and that poor thing has seen better days, but it’s still around tucked away safely in my hope chest. Emilie’s grandmother, Grammie Becca, knitted her a blanket and she’s had it since before she was born. She’s been napping with it since she was three months old (it has holes in it and we have a video monitor…take a breath!! LOL) and sleeping with it at night since six months old. In the last several months she’s become more and more attached to it and now I find her snuggled up with it in the night instead of just leaving it draped over her. I love seeing her snuggle her blankie and it makes me so happy that its something her Grammie made her much like the one my Meme made for me.
I feel like I just wrote in circles about absolutely nothing! Sorry about that! I was thinking today about how much being a Mom has really changed me. A girlfriend and I were talking this evening about life changes. Specifically work changes. Both of us are in the midst of our work lives changing and we discussed that we used to care a lot more about the WHAT we were doing. Titles used to be so much more important. In fact, I can honestly say that when it comes to work/career…I only understand labels and titles. My grandparents were teachers, my mom a nurse, and I am a designer. My degree is in Interior Design, I’ve spent years working in the various parts of the industry but am not at all where I would imagined, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, its just different than I planned. Plan…I should just laugh at that word. My mom said it best when she said “the best way to make God laugh…is to make a plan”. How true is that?! ANYWAYS…We both agreed that although its hard for us to wrap our heads around the feeling…neither of us care as much about what we’re doing anymore. Its just about doing what it takes to provide for our family in the way they need. And that need is different for every family. I have no idea what the future holds for us, but if I’ve learned anything at all in the past few years I’ve learned that my plans for our future might as well be written on toilet paper and flushed straight down. I’m being completely serious about this. If you had any idea what kinds of things we’ve faced in the last four years you’d agree with me. I’m a planner. I’m an OBSESSIVE planner. So this is a VERY difficult concept for me to grasp…but I’m working on only taking one day on at a time. To make the best decision for our family I can on that day and just pray and trust that it will take us where we’re supposed to be. Because I have NO CLUE where we are supposed to be…that much is clear. My plans of where we were supposed to be have been proved wrong, wrong, and wrong again. So my new plan…my new goal…is no plans. Take each day as it comes, put one foot in front of the other, make the best decisions we can make on that day, and learn to trust. So instead of making plans or pulling the blanket over my face and hiding…I’m going to take a note from my daughter and just smile.