A week from today everything changes.
For someone who loathes change as much as I do this is a very daunting fact. But its an exciting one as well.
By this time next Tuesday I will have seen my baby boys face (yet probably won’t have held him yet). He will be snuggling with my Mother while I’m finishing up the second part of the surgery. I’ve had just shy of ten months to prepare for Landon’s arrival and nearly six years to come to terms with the hysterectomy.
Six years ago a specialist recommended a hysterectomy. I was 23. I was already seriously dating my now husband and we knew we wanted children, so we took the chance. We ignored the advice of the Dr. and chose to pursue our goal of having children of our own. As we considered having a second child the fear of risking it all again was in my head… I’d actually set up an appointment with the specialist to re-discuss the issue when we found out I was already pregnant and had to cancel. Thankfully we’ve been blessed and I’ve remained healthy all these years, but when the current Dr. took one look at my chart for the first time I could hear him exclaim from the hallway. He was shocked to see me in his office…Pregnant. He immediately stated that while he’d get us through this pregnancy, we must do a hysterectomy immediately after. Luckily…we are ready this time.
So this time next week I’ll be closing the door to pregnancy in my life (thank goodness!! lol) and opening the door to a family of four. I feel so blessed. I was told six years ago that the likelihood of even being able to carry a child to term wasn’t great, they were wrong. Dead wrong. In fact the issues they said I’d have, have been the furthest from our reality. While my pregnancies have never been simple, they have been blessed. I wasn’t sure I was meant to have another child after Emilie. Wasn’t sure my heart could even open to another child. But God knew me better than I knew myself and two children was apparently his plan for me.
He must REALLY know me better than I know myself to give me a little boy!!!! I never dreamed I’d have a boy. NEVER! LOL
But again, after ten months to prepare I am now thankful that I will have one of each. Thankful to experience mothering a boy. And honestly…finally…excited. I cannot wait to meet my little man!
So today as my Mother travels into town and we try to complete the last several items on our “to-do” list. I’m gearing up for the journey ahead. I’m embracing the fact that waking up this morning after almost eight hours of sleep was difficult and laughing at myself knowing that by this time next week sleeping in a two hour spurt will be a blessing. I’m fearful of the how the changes will affect my little routine baby Emilie. Just this past weekend we allowed for her routine to be broken twice, Friday with a late night and Sunday with a missed nap…we’ve paid dearly for it. She is just now starting to recover and act like herself again.
It will be interesting to say the least!
So while we try to navigate the next several weeks with some grace say a little prayer for our sanity.
I have a feeling we’re going to need it!!!