Today was my little mans six month checkup. He’s not actually six months until Wednesday but that’s not the point. He was weighed, measured, and Mommy was found wanting.
Wanting to hide under a rock!! Apparently everything I’m doing is all wrong. Bah!
First of all he’s a perfectly healthy and happy baby. He’s hitting each milestone and there were several he is even ahead on. But he’s not sleeping well anymore and I’m not feeding him right. Hmph.
About two weeks ago he stopped sleeping well. He went from waking at most once in the night (which he’s basically done since coming home from the hospital) to waking every few hours. We were convinced it was teething or an ear infection. But a quick trip to the pediatrician proved that he only had a little thrush. Then I realized we were in the fifth leap (wonderweeks lingo) and apparently would be stuck in this dark cloud of moodiness and restlessness for several more weeks. When it continued but he started sounding congested as well we went back to the pediatrician to find he now DID had a severe ear infection…AGAIN. His poor little ear drum was just bulging. So we blamed the lack of sleeping on that and just dealt with it.
Today at his appointment she said the thrush and ear were clear. That we could no longer say that was the reason for his sleeplessness and that it was time for us to sleep train. NOOOOOO. I love watching my little guy fall asleep in my arms each night, I love having him in my room, and I HATE…I mean absolutely loathe…to hear him cry. Fussing is one thing, but this little man has some lungs on him and once he gets going its quite difficult to calm him back down. So I don’t wanna!!!! This is my last baby, I want to hold and snuggle and spoil him while I can.
I also want to sleep. 😦 Thus the dilemma.
The hubs sees no such dilemma. After lunch today he marched my baby boy to his room and put him to bed. And oh did he scream. For ten long minutes before he was picked up and calmed down, only to put him back down to scream again. I think it took a total of 16-17 minutes before he fell asleep. And he did take a good hour and a half nap. So I suppose it was successful, but my heart hurts.
Like sick to my stomach, brings tears to my eyes, heart hurting. (Yes Kate…I’m a wimp!)
And I’m supposed to do this at bedtime?? My favorite time with him?? I don’t see how I can. I may have to skip that one. Call me selfish but I don’t want to lose that precious time that is just mine and his. That short time every night after he nurses that he just looks at me and snuggles me until he falls asleep. That time is mine, please don’t take it away yet!!!
Oh and then when he wakes… I’m only allowed to nurse him once in the night like he had been doing. To only give him his binky and help him back to sleep the other times. WHAT?! I know, I know…he will make up for it during the day if he’s not getting it at night. It’s not the quantity I’m worried about. It’s the quality issue. Quality of life for all of us! The less I nurse the less I make. Withholding something he’s used to whether or not its necessary or for comfort is upsetting – for both of us. And do you really think he’s going to just go back down easily without it?! HA!!
I won’t even go into the fact that they said I should be giving him three meals a day of solids now. Three?? At six months?? And three plus two snacks by nine months? That doesn’t even seem in line with the new AAP guidelines! I know its against every breastfeeding group out there. If my crunchy mom friends heard this they’d FLIP OUT!!!! I didn’t even want to tell them all this today…they would LOSE IT!
I really thought that as a second time Mom, I’d know just want to do. I certainly intended to do it better this time. Em was a horrible sleeper until we finally sleep trained her at nine months. Was that too late? Or is this too early? I just don’t know. I don’t know what the right answers are but I can tell you my heart doesn’t like the ones I was given today…